Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.

For some sex addicts, behavior does not progress beyond compulsive masturbation or the extensive use of pornography or phone or computer sex services. For others, addiction can involve illegal activities such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, child molestation or rape.

Sex addicts do not necessarily become sex offenders. Moreover, not all sex offenders are sex addicts. Roughly 55 percent of convicted sex offenders can be considered sex addicts.

About 71 percent of child molesters are sex addicts. For many, their problems are so severe that imprisonment is the only way to ensure society’s safety against them.

Society has accepted that sex offenders act not for sexual gratification, but rather out of a disturbed need for power, dominance, control or revenge, or a perverted expression of anger. More recently, however, an awareness of brain changes and brain reward associated with sexual behavior has led us to understand that there are also powerful sexual drives that motivate sex offenses.

The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” In other words, a sex addict will continue to engage in certain sexual behaviors despite facing potential health risks, financial problems, shattered relationships or even arrest.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders, Volume Four describes sex addiction, under the category “Sexual Disorders Not Otherwise Specified,” as “distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used.” According to the manual, sex addiction also involves “compulsive searching for multiple partners, compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation, compulsive love relationships and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.”

Increasing sexual provocation in our society has spawned an increase in the number of individuals engaging in a variety of unusual or illicit sexual practices, such as phone sex, the use of escort services and computer pornography. More of these individuals and their partners are seeking help.

The same compulsive behavior that characterizes other addictions also is typical of sex addiction. But these other addictions, including drug, alcohol and gambling dependency, involve substances or activities with no necessary relationship to our survival. For example, we can live normal and happy lives without ever gambling, taking illicit drugs or drinking alcohol. Even the most genetically vulnerable person will function well without ever being exposed to, or provoked by, these addictive activities.

Sexual activity is different. Like eating, having sex is necessary for human survival. Although some people are celibate — some not by choice, while others choose celibacy for cultural or religious reasons — healthy humans have a strong desire for sex. In fact, lack of interest or low interest in sex can indicate a medical problem or psychiatric illness.

Tired of checking for new posts ?

Get all posts directly in your mail.

SEX

Good news: Other women turn her on. But what does that mean for you?


Your girlfriend is probably turned on by other women—at least that’s what the findings from a new study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggest.

In the experiment, women who claimed to be straight actually showed the same signs of physical arousal when watching sexy videos of naked women as they did when viewing ones of dudes. Blood flow to their genitals increased and their pupils dilated

This shows that straight women may have a more fluid sexuality, meaning they could be turned on by men and women, says study author Gerulf Rieger, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Essex

Men, on the other hand, tend to be less flexible with what turns them on.

“We have conducted several studies on men, and the majority of straight men are almost exclusively sexually aroused by women,” he adds. “In general, the direction a man’s penis takes is a reliable indicator of his sexual orientation.”

Now, that’s not to say that all women definitely get turned on when faced with another scantily-clad female. Arousal is very individualized, and what turns on one woman may not necessarily rev up another.

Plus, even if the thought of other chicks does turn her on, she may never want to have a ménage a trois.

“Sexual arousal may happen automatically or subconsciously,” he says. “A sexual or romantic relationship with another woman may not be what she actually wants to pursue.”

So how do you know for sure? Gauge her interest by asking if she’d be into watching girl-on-girl porn with you. If she’s game—and she enjoys it—you can then bring up the idea of a threesome in a comfortable place, like her apartment or your home.

Tired of checking for new posts ?

Get all posts directly in your mail.

SEX

The Pogo Stick

The Position: Think of it as standing missionary. You’re holding up all her weight, bending backward, and—to facilitate the old in-and-out—you’re flexing your knees and bouncing her up and down on your johnson.

Why it’s Risky: Anything acrobatic like this is a lot more likely to lead to back pain or strains for the guy, says Herbenick. Not to mention you could topple if your footing is unsure. The other obvious ouch: The woman’s also at risk of being dropped, Herbenick adds.

Tired of checking for new posts ?

Get all posts directly in your mail.

WOMEN

The Cowgirl + Lean Back

The Position: You’re on your back, she’s sitting on top of you. Rather than leaning forward with her hands on your chest, she’s leaning waaaay back.

Why it’s Risky: Like an elbow or knee, your erect penis can be “hyperextended” if you put too much or too frequent downward pressure on the shaft, finds a study from the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF). Over time, this hyperextension can lead to peyronie’s disease—a buildup of plaques that causes your rod to bend while erect. That can make sex impossible, the UCSF research suggests. If you feel tugging—or even a small joint-like crack near the base of your penis, the angle of your intercourse is a little too extreme. Have her lean forward.

Also risky . . . The Reverse Cowgirl + Lean Forward, The Butter Churner, The Spider—or any pose that creates the sensation of tugging down on the base of your penis.

Tired of checking for new posts ?

Get all posts directly in your mail.

WOMEN

The Over-Exuberant Swiss Ball Blitz

Why it’s Risky: The Swiss Ball Blitz may add some bounce to your thrusts, but beware: “Penis breaks will be more common in any sex position in which the penis comes fully out of the vagina and then goes back in,” Herbenick stresses. Because the Swiss ball creates an unusual amount of up and down inertia, too much oomph could lead to your schlong slipping out of your girl just before gravity and momentum bring her full weight crashing back down on you.

Also risky . . . Stairway to Heaven, or any pose where she’s in the driver’s seat and the sex is especially vigorous. If she’s on top, you have less control over the in-and-out motion, and so you’re more likely to slip out of her, Herbenick explains.

Tired of checking for new posts ?

Get all posts directly in your mail.

WOMEN

The Eager Chef

The Position: You’re standing on your toes while she’s sitting on a counter in front of you. The sex is ... spontaneous.

Why it’s Risky: Most cases of penile fracture—ruptures of the blood-filled tubes in your erection—occur from very vigorous sex, explains Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., who teaches human sexuality and psychology at Harvard University. If your partner is sitting on a countertop and—in your enthusiasm—you miss your target either high or low, your unlucky penis has nowhere to go but into her pubic bone or the counter.

Also risky ... Any standing position that has you on the tips of your toes. A momentary lapse of calf strength could send your manhood crashing into an unforgiving barrier.

Tired of checking for new posts ?

Get all posts directly in your mail.

WOMEN

Let’s get one thing straight: Injuries during sex are unusual. When they do happen, they tend to happen because of where you’re having sex—not how you’re doing it, says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Great in Bed.

Because your footing or other means of support are unfamiliar, sex in unusual places—say, on your office desk or in an airplane lavatory—are a lot more likely to lead to injuries than a complicated pose, Herbenick says, citing research from the University of Maryland.

That said, there are a few positions that are more likely than others to result in injury. From strained back muscles to the dreaded “broken penis,” here are four you may want to avoid—or at the very least treat with respect.

Tired of checking for new posts ?

Get all posts directly in your mail.

WOMEN